growing into manhood

becoming an adult has been an intense process.  going through a second puberty has been both liberating and confusing.  i just want to focus on the 'positive' stuff (the things i like), but the other parts are much harder for me to grasp or focus on.  those parts i just want to put into a dark closet and never open.  bury it deep.  but that will only lead to headaches later.

• who am i?
• what kind of man am i?
• how can i unlearn/heal from past relationships?
• how can i resolve my relationship with my father?
• will i have a relationship with my dad?
• what do i want?
• what kind of man do i want to be?
• how do i become friends with more men?

how do i even begin to address any of these questions?  which one do i focus on first?  should i focus on all of them?  

being in this state of transition is taxing and exhausting.  all i wanna do i sleep and sleep and sleep.