i hate being a boi with cramps. i was going to be out and about today, but now i'm going to be laying down and napping.
i did manage to get out for a bit to see a free performance though. it was cool. they are called strange fruit and they are from australia. it was really amazing and mesmerizing and relaxing and funny and great. but now i'm off to lay down.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
it's been a while
so it's been a while since i've posted. not that nothing is happening in my life nor that i have nothing to say. i guess i've been a little busy. moving my office took a lot out of me and i've been trying to figure out what i'm doing with my life since i decided to leave my job a few months ago. but things are getting taken care of. i am now registered for school and i have a new job lined up which i start next week. so all the 'business' parts of my life have been taken care of.
i'm now in new york visiting friends and it's been hot as hell. but not as hot as i thought it was going to be. i spent last weekend in the hamptons with a friend. it was interesting. it kinda stressed me out and at the same time was kinda relaxing. i got to to the beach and hang out with a friend who i haven't seen in a while. so that was good. i came out to my friend a while ago as being trans and this trip, i told her that i have a new name and prefer male pronouns, but she just couldn't get it. she kept calling me my old name, which is fine in the house, but out in public it really stressed me out. being around rich, straight, white folks, i already didn't really feel super comfortable and then she kept calling me by my old name and it just make me really stressed out. i mean, it's fine. i've known her a long time and i know it takes people a while to adjust to a new name and all, but i think she only called me connor like 5 times in the 3 days i was there. needless to say, i was happy to leave to come to the city and be around queers.
now i'm in the city and have had a great time so far. i got to see harry potter and the order of the phoenix last night at midnight. it was really fun. i got to wander around manhatten all day just roaming and walking. it was nice to be anonymous and afloat. didn't have any 'plans' during my day except to go to b&h which was overwhelming and fun. so many toys to play with! anyways, it's cooler today, so maybe i'll be a little less of a sweaty boi, but i kinda doubt it. i'm glad that i am able to be on this trip right now. it's been a much needed break from the bay. i know i'll be excited to go home, but it's nice to get away for a minute to get some perspective on on my life. i can see where i'm doing well in my life and also some areas that need some work. but it's a process....life that is. i'm coming to terms with a lot of my past and being more centered and aware of myself has made the process less traumatic and stressful. not to say that i don't get stressed out or have feelings about life. but i can take things as they come. anyways, all this is to say that i love all my friends and framily and i can even say that i love my family and that i am working for the future and living in the now. everything is as it is and i'm ok with that.
i'm now in new york visiting friends and it's been hot as hell. but not as hot as i thought it was going to be. i spent last weekend in the hamptons with a friend. it was interesting. it kinda stressed me out and at the same time was kinda relaxing. i got to to the beach and hang out with a friend who i haven't seen in a while. so that was good. i came out to my friend a while ago as being trans and this trip, i told her that i have a new name and prefer male pronouns, but she just couldn't get it. she kept calling me my old name, which is fine in the house, but out in public it really stressed me out. being around rich, straight, white folks, i already didn't really feel super comfortable and then she kept calling me by my old name and it just make me really stressed out. i mean, it's fine. i've known her a long time and i know it takes people a while to adjust to a new name and all, but i think she only called me connor like 5 times in the 3 days i was there. needless to say, i was happy to leave to come to the city and be around queers.
now i'm in the city and have had a great time so far. i got to see harry potter and the order of the phoenix last night at midnight. it was really fun. i got to wander around manhatten all day just roaming and walking. it was nice to be anonymous and afloat. didn't have any 'plans' during my day except to go to b&h which was overwhelming and fun. so many toys to play with! anyways, it's cooler today, so maybe i'll be a little less of a sweaty boi, but i kinda doubt it. i'm glad that i am able to be on this trip right now. it's been a much needed break from the bay. i know i'll be excited to go home, but it's nice to get away for a minute to get some perspective on on my life. i can see where i'm doing well in my life and also some areas that need some work. but it's a process....life that is. i'm coming to terms with a lot of my past and being more centered and aware of myself has made the process less traumatic and stressful. not to say that i don't get stressed out or have feelings about life. but i can take things as they come. anyways, all this is to say that i love all my friends and framily and i can even say that i love my family and that i am working for the future and living in the now. everything is as it is and i'm ok with that.
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