R.I.P.

today, someone very cool died. my friend's mom passed away today and i don't know how to deal with it. death is really hard for me to deal with. i feel lost. i don't know what to do. i don't even know what to really say about it. i feel like i'm bottling things up and i don't know how to let them out. i can't seem to focus on stuff. i feel really on edge. it's not like my friend lives super far away, but....i didn't go up this weekend, like i thought i was going to. i dunno. i don't know what to do for my friend either. i feel like i'm hiding. i don't know what to do. i just feel so lost. shit sucks right now and there is nothing i can do to make it better. i just need to be in this moment when all i want to do is run away from it.