crazy pants

i am going a little nutso.  work is super crazy pants and then on the weekends, i feel lost.  today i had to go to the office and could have stayed all day doing work.  i made myself leave and have been in the house 'relaxing', but it has been unsettling.  i have been fidgety and emotional.  i don't know what's going on.

cycle skating!

saving babies

so last night i dreamt that i saved a baby from some crazy gunman and in the process became/was friends with the criminal minds crew and then we all raised the baby together.  weird.

manly man

it's been a while, and not much has changed.  just working my ass of at the day job.  but today, i fixed our bathroom door!  i feel so handy!  in a job where i push papers all day, it's nice to do something handy and feel like i've actually accomplished something.  yay manual labor!

nostalgia or exhaustion

today i feel like i miss my youth.  i am remembering the crazy, fun times we had.  but now everything has changed.  is this what growing up/old is about?  cuz this sucks rocks.  some of my best friends are no longer around.  i feel abandoned.  left out.  this may just be the exhaustion talking.  i am so tired i feel like i could vomit.  everything hurts today.

missing piece

somewhere along the way i have lost some of my dreams.  i used to have such crazy ideas and i would act on them and that lead to fantastic adventures and mishaps.  these days, i don't have those ideas anymore. i don't do crazy stuff.  i am not so carefree and fancy free.  i miss the old me.  i do like aspects of the new me, but i feel like i am missing some part of me.  i need to find that piece of me to feel whole.

apparently this is not the year for blogging....

i looked at my stats and this year i've only had 8 posts.  and now it's october.  where does the time go?  so much has happened this year, yet so much has also stayed the same.  i think the biggest thing has been starting T in june.  after that, it seems like the anxiety and stress of living has eased.  i'm much more comfortable and confident in myself.  so things have evened out.  i still need to tell my parents, but other than that glitch, things are moving along.  i'm preparing myself to start some sort of 'exercise' thing.  who knows.  all i know is i'm getting my bike in shape so the next step is for me to start using it.