skeeter the narcoleptic puppy

getting good at breakfast

so, this past weekend, i decided to make breakfast for the lady. and on all accounts it turned out beautifully delicious. i sliced yukon gold potatoes, marinated them with olive oil, rosemary, salt, pepper and red chili flakes, and then layered them in a skillet. it was a test of patience, but it paid off. i didn't move the potatoes at all. and towards the end added a splash of chicken stock to help steam and cook through all the potato layers. the bottom layer got super crispy and delicious. i also made a cheese omelet that was just cheesy enough and fluffy and not runny at all. i seem to have gotten really good at making omelets recently. before this, my omelets always turned into scrambles. i topped it all off with some crispy bacon. i don't have any pictures this time, but i'll be sure to take some next time.

crazy cat lady

whoa! this lady has too much time on her hands.

love and affection

my dad sent me this video and it made me cry. i love my dad, even if i do get frustrated with him. i need to work on that.

letting go

so i'm feeling a bit more centered. but i know that this is gonna be a bit of a process. dealing with life can be overwhelming and stressful, but i need to remember to recognize and appreciate what i do have. i think that will help me balance out the feelings of stress and irritation. i can't let those feelings overwhelm me.

as a side note, i've been thinking about my transition more and though that also causes me stress, it's really important for me to be who i am. and for me to really be me, i need to change myself physically. i've been thinking about surgery more and more over the past couple of days. it scares me and excites me at the same time.

personal fulfillment?

what do i want to do that will give me personal fulfillment? that seems to be the overarching question that i need to answer in order to not be so angry. i'm tired of being angry. it's getting really old. i need to stop flipping out for no reason. it's ridiculous. but what is it that i want to do? i have no idea. when i was younger, i had ideas. thoughts and dreams. these days, i look out at my future and i see a void. i have no idea what i want to be. where i want to go. it's just a vast nothing. i have no direction. no inkling of an idea of what i should pursue next. i also just feel very empty. i feel like i don't really have anything that is mine. i have no idea what happened. it seemed like not so long ago, i had gained back a lot that i had lost. but now i seem to be back in the nothing. i have no space that is mine. no physical space. no emotional space. i feel like i keep giving and giving and i'm not getting anything back. i'm running on empty and i don't know how or where to stop to fill up.

drink wilkins coffee or get a muppet beatdown?