movie of my life

all too often the thought of seeing my life as a movie comes to me.  i am so curious about what other people see and think when they see me or interact with me.  what life lessons am i imparting on other people?  also, what life lessons am i learning?  i wanna know what the narrator of my movie would say.  also, who's voice is narrating?

crazy pants

i am going a little nutso.  work is super crazy pants and then on the weekends, i feel lost.  today i had to go to the office and could have stayed all day doing work.  i made myself leave and have been in the house 'relaxing', but it has been unsettling.  i have been fidgety and emotional.  i don't know what's going on.

cycle skating!

saving babies

so last night i dreamt that i saved a baby from some crazy gunman and in the process became/was friends with the criminal minds crew and then we all raised the baby together.  weird.

manly man

it's been a while, and not much has changed.  just working my ass of at the day job.  but today, i fixed our bathroom door!  i feel so handy!  in a job where i push papers all day, it's nice to do something handy and feel like i've actually accomplished something.  yay manual labor!

nostalgia or exhaustion

today i feel like i miss my youth.  i am remembering the crazy, fun times we had.  but now everything has changed.  is this what growing up/old is about?  cuz this sucks rocks.  some of my best friends are no longer around.  i feel abandoned.  left out.  this may just be the exhaustion talking.  i am so tired i feel like i could vomit.  everything hurts today.

missing piece

somewhere along the way i have lost some of my dreams.  i used to have such crazy ideas and i would act on them and that lead to fantastic adventures and mishaps.  these days, i don't have those ideas anymore. i don't do crazy stuff.  i am not so carefree and fancy free.  i miss the old me.  i do like aspects of the new me, but i feel like i am missing some part of me.  i need to find that piece of me to feel whole.