words? english?

ok, so i realized, or rather, i know that i'm not really good with words. it probably has to do with being scarred by being an esl kid in a 99% white, upper, middle class suburb. except where i grew up, they called it 'speech therapy', which pathologized the entire experience for me, instead of normalizing it. they didn't recognize that it was a cultural/social issue and not a medical issue. also, to further stigmatize me, i had to be pulled out of 'regular' class to go to 'therapy'. and since i was the only who had to go, it isolated me that much more. so, in order to rebel, i usually yelled at the speech therapist or refused to talk. needless to say words are hard for me.

(as a side note, i think it's funny how i had to go ask my friends to help me with the word pathologize to help me with this post.)

anyways....all that was to explain why i keep putting song lyrics up. they capture the mood and feeling of my moment. i can take pictures and sometimes sketch stuff. and i'm killer at making collages, but words is where i falter.

and maybe i still don't fully understand words, but this song makes me feel both sad and hopeful, which i guess is where i'm at.

and now for the lyrics:

"Set The Fire To The Third Bar"
(feat. Martha Wainwright)
by Snow Patrol

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have traveled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms