growing patterns

so something else i've thought about this week is patterns in my life. i'm trying to see patterns from my past to learn. for the past 5 years of my life i have been going through my saturn return. (hippie alert!) which means that basically saturn returns to the place in your chart when you were born. basically from about 28-31 or 32, you have to re-learn all the experiences of your life in order to move on to the next phase of your life. so for the past few years, i have been in the middle of this hell....and believe me it's hell. it's not fun. it's not good times. but it *is* necessary.

anyways, this week has sparked a visit to my past and i've now able to see some patterns that need examining. not to say that those patterns are wrong or fucked up. they were learning experiences and i need to figure out what lesson(s) were being shown to me. i have seen some stuff and i'm not quite sure yet what they mean. but hey...the first step is to see them. now i'm gonna figure out what they mean to me and my growing.