tripping

so i had a conversation with a friend a while back and he said two phrases that made a lot of sense. past tripping and future tripping. i past trip a lot. meaning i try to look at my past and try to fix it. to see where i fucked up, but also to get lost in nostalgia for the good parts. my friend said he future trips, meaning that he worries about the future. both kinds of tripping take you out of the moment though. i'm trying to be more in the moment and not freak out so much about what i coulda, shoulda, or woulda done. it's a struggle. i guess i'm still trying to get back into the paradise of my past.

i know i'm a different person now though, so there really is no going back. even if i were to be in any of my past situations as i am now, it would all be different. i guess the following song is a for me today.

honest mistake
by the bravery

People
They don't mean a thing to you
They move right through you
Just like your breath
But sometimes
I still think of you
And I just wanted to
Just wanted you to know
My old friend...
I swear I never meant for this
I never meant...

Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An honest mistake

Sometimes
I forget I'm still awake
I fuck up and say these things out loud
My old friend...
I swear I never meant for this
I never meant...

Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An honest....

Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An honest mistake