relationships

so after i left my job, i got a gift pack from my boss and it was a random assortment of things. definitely all things that i like, but totally random: shop towels, orange hand degreaser, switchblade comb, tattoo bandaids, a lighter, and a guerilla art book. looking at all those things, i realized that i'm really weird. and in seeing my interests laid out in tangible form was a slightly jarring. i went off in my head about why do i like these things? do my interests make me cool? do they make me weird? what the hell does it all mean? but then i calmed down and laughed because i realized that i am weird and also that pretty much everyone is slightly weird and quirky.

which brings me to the other thing that i have been thinking about: relationships. not just intimate ones with partners, but also friendships, acquaintances, random interactions with strangers on the streets, etc. i have been reading a lot of astrology and i've found out that venus is in retrograde and has been since the end of july and will be until sept. 8. i realized that i have been thinking about how i relate to other people since about july and what it is i really want from my relationships and also what i can give. i know that in my past i have been less than available to my friends and partners but that i am learning how to be more open, communicative, and responsible emotionally. i have done a lot of work in this arena and i realized that i am such a different person than i was last year. it's strange to take the time to reflect and to be able to see your own growth. i am still growing and tomorrow, i am doing more growing, by stepping up to start a conversation with a friend that i think really needs to happen to clear the air before it becomes really awkward.

i also feel really centered in all these transitions and i'm learning to just take things in stride. to be flexible with changes both within myself but also in the people around me. everyone has the right to make a decision, but they also have the right to change their mind. nothing is set in stone. and as a virgo, it's really hard to not get caught up in the finer details of things and to see the larger picture. i'm working on that and i trust that everything will work out as it should.