exhaustion

so i have been so busy with all the work that i have been doing that i feel like i've been really lonely and haven't had a chance to just be okay with that. all i wanted to do today was to stay in bed and read my book and at the same time go out and see all my friends. i have been working 15-16 hour days and haven't had time for much else. i feel like i haven't really been around my friends in a while, which isn't completely true, but it's how i feel. i actually spent a very nice sunday up in petaluma with friends. i guess i feel like i have so much limited 'free' time that i have to be really structured with my time and have weird time slots for hanging out with friends so i can still see them all. but then i forget that i need to spend some time by myself to be re-centered. which leaves the middle of the night for myself, but by then i'm so exhausted that all i can do is lay down and pass out.

but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. as of next friday, i will be continuing this transition in my life and i will only have 1 job and be back in school. although my 1 job will not pay all my bills, i have to get my hustle on. the good thing is that i have leads for a lot of contract jobs, so a few of them have to pan out. i always make it work out, so this time it won't be any different.

i guess it's just the sheer physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that i am feeling. i'm ok with that. it is what it is.