what does it mean to be a man? i am struggling with this. i realized a while back that some behaviors that were ok as a 'woman' are not ok now. perceptions are false. i can't control what others see but i can't live in fear. jokingly punching the shoulder of my female friends now is not seen in the same way. the other day at radio shack i was called ma'am. it kinda threw me. was my shirt too tight? sports bra not tight enough? i don't like binding. i like to breathe. but safety. what is safety? for me, every time i'm in the bathroom i have a moment of 'is my chest showing? what do they see today?' those moments are shorter and fewer, but i still carry them. every month i am reminded by my biology that i am not what people see. but i see it. this contradiction.
balance. it's a fine line.
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