process

i'm really internalizing how everything is a process. and for me, i'm just letting it all happen. things are going to go how they are going to go. i have goals and ideas of things i wanna do, but the road to those goals is not going to be what i 'plan'. plans never work out how you want them to. so, i'm letting it happen. i'm just realizing that i don't have control over anything and i'm ok with that. just trying to be in the present. life is good. i feel good.

stepping back is really good sometimes. i have also realized a change in my relating to my parents. as many people know i've had a very strained and anger filled relationship with my parents for the last 15 years or so. and recently i've begun letting go of the anger and resentment i felt towards them. i'm coming to a different place of understanding with them and where they come from. so i've been able to have really nice, non-stressful interactions with them. i have even begun to tell them some things about my life. it's really nice....and freeing.

also, getting a massage every week has helped me to get more in tune with my body. i'm realizing how my body reacts during different times of emotions and stress. i'm trying to learn all the links to all the parts of me. so far it has been a really interesting process. i'm hoping to strengthen myself to be able to handle life differently.

all in all though. i'm really happy with process. love, love, love.