when was the last time i woke up happy?

i really can't remember the last time i woke up happy. every day it seems i wake up filled with anxiety and stress. i don't know what to do. i feel paralyzed. i need to change my life, but i don't know what to change. i feel like i've been moving through sludge. i can't focus. geezzus. this is lame. it seems i only write depressing ass posts. i'm tired of this. i'm really, really tired of this.