hostility abounds

wow. i feel so aggro and grumpy and mad. i can't seem to shake this feeling. it's been hanging around me for a while now, but i've been hiding it under the guise of being nice. i dunno. maybe it's just my disease-addled brain. my fuse feels very short these days and i don't know what to do to change that. i don't know how to release this weird angsty, angry feeling inside. i have been drinking a bit to dull the feeling and fake myself out with drunken euphoria, but as we all know from my past, that doesn't work in the long term. i dunno. maybe i'm trying to change too much right now with the quitting of cigarettes, the no carbs and the sickness. i'll work it out somehow. i always do.