anti-gay weekend

well, it's pride weekend. and again, i've decided to not do anything. i've been feeling really anti-social recently. i dunno. pride weekend seems like some sort of free pass to drink heavily and act stupid. i dunno. it makes it so acceptable that the "pride parade" is sponsored by budweiser and the like. so all the alterna-queers go to the dyke march or the trans march which is supposedly more political. but honestly, i think it's just more of the same. the dyke march and the trans march may not be sponsored by any major alcohol corporations, but it may as well be. the same shit happens there too. i dunno. i guess i've been wrestling with my identiy again recently. i don't know where i fit in. i feel so unsettled and uncomfortable. i don't know what i want right now, i guess. this post is kind of rambly and all over the place and i guess that is how i feel in general right now. not that anything is particularly 'wrong'. i just feel uncomfortable. i guess i will just try to settle into that feeling and be ok with it.